The Networking Trap: Why startups should focus on what really matters

Ah, the startup networking events, those dazzling parades of business cards and elevator pitches that promise magical connections and endless opportunities. But do they really add value? The uncomfortable truth is that most of these events can be a huge waste of time and energy, producing little more than a social hangover and a pile of superficial contacts. Instead of chasing these mirages, startups should focus on what’s essential: being close to their customers and building authentic relationships. Because, at the end of the day, what truly drives success aren’t superficial conversations in an event hall but genuine connections and deep knowledge gained from being where it matters.

In 2015, Sam Altman argued that many startups graduating from Y Combinator’s acceleration program lost discipline and stopped focusing on what truly matters: growing their company. Instead, their founders began doing “fake work,” which can be much easier and more fun than real work. “We’re working on our long-term strategy”; “this month we’re focusing on getting press coverage”; “I’m going to give six talks at meetups and participate in some conferences,” are classic examples of this phenomenon.

Nearly ten years later, can we say things have changed? Not entirely. A significant part of entrepreneurs’ keep doing fake work by attending an excessive number of networking events. To be clear, I’m not against these events per se; my critique is aimed at those who abuse these instances and then wonder why their balance sheets and sales reports are dismal. It makes one think about where they are truly focusing.

One problem with startup events is the noise they generate. These events create many distractions through various channels. Entrepreneurs tend to meet with people who share similar backgrounds and previous connections. Meeting new people or engaging in valuable conversations that truly generate learning is difficult to achieve in such contexts. Alex Turnbull, founder and CEO of Groove, made it clear in an article titled “Why I Stopped Going to Networking Events.” According to him, these events are inefficient and keep attendees trapped in a “bubble” that generates significant distraction. TrackMaven’s CEO, Allen Gannett, adds an interesting element to the debate: FOMO (fear of missing out), noting that many entrepreneurs feel they must attend these events for fear of being left behind if they don’t. According to Gannett, entrepreneurs play the “networking roulette,” where the hope of finding a useful connection keeps them going to all possible events.

The obsession with traditional networking is based on the false belief that the more people you meet, the more opportunities you will have. However, this idea ignores the importance of Mark Granovetter’s social network theory, which points to the value of “weak ties.” On the one hand, strong ties are connections with people you already know and with whom you share similar backgrounds and interests. These relationships can be comfortable and supportive, but often do not lead to new ideas or opportunities. On the other hand, weak ties are connections with people you don’t know as well and who may have different perspectives and experiences. These connections may be less comfortable, but are more likely to generate new insights and opportunities.

Traditional networking events are usually dominated by “strong ties,” where people connect with others who share similar backgrounds and interests. This tendency, known as homophily, encourages the formation of homogeneous groups, limiting the exchange of ideas and the generation of new knowledge. While strong ties can provide support, they can also inhibit innovation and creativity due to the lack of new perspectives and the risk of falling into continuous “group thinking.”

For startups, it’s important to be aware of the dangers of homophily and take steps to build diverse networks. There is ample evidence suggesting that the more diverse your networks, the more you will learn (knowledge spillovers will be generated). If you are going to attend an event, consider stepping out of your circle. Don’t waste valuable time—that you could use to improve your sales strategy or think about how to convert more pilots into paying customers—talking about the same topics with the same people again. If your learning isn’t meaningful, choose other avenues and, frankly, avoid attending every event you’re invited to.

Knowledge spillovers often arise spontaneously, without prior planning, in informal encounters between individuals. This flow is not always equitable: some benefit more than others. The environment in which it occurs can shape its impact. Physical proximity, trust, and cultural affinity can facilitate this exchange. However, knowledge doesn’t disseminate automatically; it requires receptivity and capacity to assimilate it.

Physical proximity plays a vital role in these spillovers. Interaction between nearby people is more likely, promoting the exchange of ideas and collaboration, especially in startups. Coworking spaces, incubators, and accelerators foster these encounters by bringing together individuals from different companies and areas of knowledge, stimulating interaction and co-creation.

Instead of wasting time at traditional networking events, startups should focus on being selective about the people they meet, prioritizing connections with people from different backgrounds and experiences who can offer new perspectives and insights, participating in activities that allow them to interact with a variety of people, attending relevant events and workshops for their industry, participating in online communities, and leveraging informal networking opportunities. Being a good listener and open to new ideas is crucial. It’s not only talking about your own ideas; listen carefully to others and look for opportunities to learn from them. Building relationships of trust and respect is essential. Networking isn’t about collecting contacts; it’s about building genuine relationships with people who can help you achieve your goals.

Networking can be a powerful tool for startups, but it’s important to use it wisely. Don’t fall into the trap of traditional networking events that focus on the same old things. Instead, focus on building genuine relationships and leveraging opportunities to generate and absorb new knowledge. Ultimately, effective networking is less about accumulating emails or business cards and more about establishing solid relationships that can generate real value for you.